23.05.21

16:42

back to blog | see fireworks

Hey friends,
First of all, I made a smoothie today and it is amazing.
1/2 a Dragon Fruit
1 Banana
5 Strawberries (Frozen)
1/4 cup-ish Cashew Milk
1 tsp Vanilla Protein Powder
Dragon Fruit rocks and I have not been giving it proper attention, until now.
The banana I used wasn't quite ripe enough ~ but the next one will be perfect.

This angle is funny but me and my smoothie are cute, so deal.

A Brief Reflection on my Body Image.
I've been thinking a lot about having a body... and how much Society has an impact on how I feel about mine and how that impacts the rest of my being. Lately I have been buying more Mediums than Smalls, and for some reason my brain punishes me for this? Pardon me for being a healthy weight, brain! I am enjoying good food, exercising quite frequently, and you still have the nerve to judge me for needing a bit more fabric? Calm down.
When I was little, I was very slim. It didn't truly hit me, how much my confidence leaned on being skinny, until I was not the smallest one in the room anymore. Which is messed up. Anyways, a few things have been helping me...

• Trying my best helps. When I am exercising and eating as healthy as I can, I feel good knowing that my body is in good care. Which probably generates a more fruitful feeling than I would have devloping some kind of ED, happy to be 'skinny' but suffering from being to strict on myself...


• The other day I was following a yoga video and the instructor, Adriene, said "Breathe into your puppy belly." And I was like... oh yeah, that's a good way to look at it. Often in modern media, a round belly is harshly judged... but when you think of it like an adorable puppy belly, round and full of life, then I look at it like "uwu".


• Exchanging negative/harsh body thoughts with appreciative thoughts. Our bodies do SO MUCH. It's easy to come up with a long list of things our body is capable of that we are gratful for... My body has muscles that can move me places, my body actually has a really strong core that can balance and generate energy, my body allows me to do everything that I do!! How could I be angry at it?


• Looking at photos of me as a child... I remember distinct thoughts of excitment for growing a Female Body one day... like.. how your body grows into more of a cylinder shape as a woman... I specifically remember looking at the way t-shirts would drape on older girls' waists and being like, "Woah, their body is Full and Amazing... I want my shirt to fit like that..." And now my shirts fit like that... but I don't feel the same appreciation. Trying to get back to that admiration I once had. Why is my brain trying to tell me that I need a Child's body? I will not entertain that desire anymore.

We all have our own battles with our bodies... I hope yours is going well. Lately, I have been dwelling mostly on this one pair of rag&bone jeans I have: how they fit me, but bunch up and kind of exaggerate my 'puppy belly'. For a long time they have sat in my dresser... but I spent too much money on them and they are too cute to sit around so I am going to give them another chance. I'm wearing them right now, and I love them, and how they fit... a bit tight in some places but nothing I can't stretch out hopefully. Anyways, that's enough about bodies for today.

Me in my rag&bone jeans that I'm breaking in.

TTFN - t