01.07.21

09:51 pm

What does it take to live a balanced life? Is there such a thing?
My brain thinks it's time to sleep at 4am. I think life is Suffering, but suffering is a spectrum, sometimes suffering is just trying to open a pickle jar.
I've had a lot of creative energy lately.. yet I think everything is creative. Friendships are creative pursuits. Social energy is extremely creative - to be able to hold a conversation.. or sit calmly in silence with someone. I've been really trying to wrangle my social energy lately, actually probably since forever. It can be scary to realize you have a voice.. and that it's being interpreted (often not how you intended). I think I can relax about it though. I just worry about freaking people out! I'm not even a freaky person.. whatever that means.
What makes something creative? To me.. it's just the way of life.. the only time you're not being creative perhaps is when you don't believe you can be.. which is arguably still creative, just unfortunate.

On another note.. maybe I should have left my blog on one page.. but at the same time I like how opening each post feels like opening a secret letter~

P.S. I got protonmail plus but it's not receiving emails... Bitte dr├╝ckt mir die Daumen.

P.S.S. please don't tell anyone about this post, it's a secret.